The Three Lines

December 3, 2010
Miah, Spamps, and Bolanos are hanging at my place and we smoke up some weed. It’s been a while and it’s good times, but I just need to mention a few highlight lines:
1. “That’s not something you usually offer someone.” - Darwin
Bolanos and I were at the Comic Store and one of the little kids was eating a burger and wings from Hickory BBQ. That’s a serious meal. I’m very impressed by him. He’s probably 11 and eating a man’s man meal. He kindly offers a wing to me and insist that I have one. I retort, “That’s not something you usually offer someone.” Wings are just a horribly messy food. Bolanos mentions that not only did I refuse his kind gesture, but scorned him for his genourosity.
I tell the guys this story and I joke that it would be a really good reality TV segment to use this. Imagine an outdoor flea market and you have a booth where you offer free buffalo wings, super messy saucy ones. People eat them with their hands and then ask for napkins and you reply that you do not have any. No bathrooms nearby, they’re outdoors, they’re around a bunch of random booths that sell useless knick knacks, and they’re stranded with their faces and hands covered in sauce.

2. “Apparently they had no chance.” – Bolanos
I think we all know that Bolanos is a supporter of his people, the Jews and Israel or whatnot. He tells us of this story that forest fires are going on in Israel. I’m pretty sure he over emphasizes the importance of this story in the news and was blown away that I had not heard about it. Granted, I’m extremely ignorant of the news.
He starts off telling the story with already a pro-Israel slant. “Well first of all, Israel is a big desert, but they put trees there because they’re sophisticated like that, but that’s beside the point...” He goes on to say that a bus full of people were engulfed in flames and died.
While it is extremely unforunate, I just could not wrap my head around this. They were in a bus. And someone a fire killed them. It makes no sense to me. I can understand a fire killing someone trapped in a building, but a moving vehicle. Unless you purposely drive into a fire or the bus blows up for no reason, there is no reason why a bus and fire should ever result in any mishap. The only way I can envision it is a bus driving down a road and a huge fireball and shoots right at the bus and engulfs the entire thing into flames. Like a fireball rocket launcher. Or some horrific scene out of Dante’s Inferno, with Pierce Brosnan. I explain my confusion to Bolanos. He says that he had read the news story on this and replied, “Apparently they had no chance.”
The pro-Israeli-ness has even suggested that fireballs react differently and there was no way these people could’ve avoided the fire. There is just something about the emphasis on “No” in that sentence.

3. “You’re going to make me endure major suffering!?”
Miah, Spamps, and I had smoked and Bolanos wanted to get back home. He did not have his car over. Spamps and I are not in the state to drive, so we do not really have a solution for him. One of the possibly solutions is to have him walk home. He contests this option and complains to Spamps, “You’re going to make me endure major suffering!?”
Granted, it was a rough situation for him, but the three of us were just not in the mood for that Debbie Downer-ness, a fucking buzzkill. I bring up Oregon Trail or Trail of Tears. It’s clarified that Trail of Tears is the sad one where the Native Americans get shipped across America on basically a death march. The words “major suffering” were just a ridiculous hyperbole. I continue to joke that he would have to ford a river in order to get back and avoid cholera.
We eventually decide to get food at White Castle and drop of Bolanos. We walk over to Spamps’ to get his car. On the walk, it’s cold, but I just can’t stop continue laughing about “major suffering” and “Trail of Tears.”

Three lines that I will push to be used more.