Random stuff and the Cruise

August 9, 2010
I'm back to rewatching TV shows. I'm a few deep into Veronica Mars and that show is so good. It's not a teen drama like you might think it is. Actually, it deals with a two season mystery and Kristin Bell doing PI work, with her frequent snarky, sarcastic comments. Granted, she goes to High School, but it's not about people hooking up and girls complaining about each other, but one's sacrifice of her social position for staying true to family.

August 14, 2010
We take the 920 train in. It’s Scott, Bolanos, Miah, CNF, and I. Miah is stuck with Bolanos because Atron doesn’t want Bolanos coming. I stay with them for a while and get to see Stefan and Lauren. I smoke with Scott and it’s way too much for me. With the drinking, time just goes really slow. We meet up with people at The Library. I go out for a smoke and it feels like it last 15 minutes when it’s only like 5. I just lose track of time. It’s really not fun and we go to the LES. Bolanos and Miah feel ditched. I don’t really know what to say and it’s all a mess.
I remember having two waters. I remember having two slices at .99 pizza. I also have pizza near Katz’s where Miah and Bolanos are. It’s all a bit blurry and annoying. I end up running past Miah. He bitches me out. I catch a cab to the E Vill and get a ride back with Lauren, CNF, and Scott. I get on WFAM for a little bit. I have some food. It really was a bad night. Miah’s pissed. Bolanos sorta mans up and sorta understands, but still doesn’t make it right. I didn’t have fun like I should’ve meh.)

August 28, 2010
It’s CRUISE time! Ride to the city at 12:00ish. It actually turns out that my aunt’s side of the family is coming too, which I didn’t know. Then again, they’re just going to be on the same boat, so doesn’t matter me much. It takes forever on line to get checked in and walk onto the boat. It’s 3:00ish by the time I get on and immediately to the buffet. The food is way bad.
I get to catch Ela before I finally get onto the see and outside of my service. She’s going to be stuck with her little kid for the next few days and I’ll be outside of communication. Oh noes.
Then there’s also loads of Asians on the boat. Dammit, I feel like an alien. Actually, the age issue is worse. You’re either a family (adults with little kids) or an AARP member if your’e on this boat. For dinner, it’s a set time at the dining room, but at least it’s sit down, etc. The food isn’t too bad and they at least try. Smoked ducked breast, grilled pork chop, and a cheese plate for dessert. I’m so getting fat if I keep eating like this for dinner. I gotta watch that for the entire cruise.
At night, I just nap. I walk around and there’s nothing to do. Grab a late snack. I go back to the room to watch some TV. I also get to see most of Avatar, which is a long ass movie. I don’t think I can really enjoy it much without a 3D IMAX.

August 29, 2010
I play on waking up at 9:00 to work out, I sleep in. I get some lunch and then head to the gym. It’s supposed to be way crowded (from reading cruise reviews), but it’s actually not bad at all. Then to the buffet for some ice coffee to mix with the whey protein that I brought. Yep, brought a container with enough scoops to last me the few days.
For the night, I stay in after dinner and just study and watch some V-Mars.

August 30, 2010
We wake up early because we stop at St. John. To call this a city, no, a town would be a shame to all towns. The only thing they pride themselves on is the tide. Quite possibly the worst attraction a “town” could ever have.
“Look the water is low at this time of the day. If you come six hours later, the water will be at the high point. Enjoy!”
It takes six hours to witness… And it’s just water level… Who cares! To back that up, the weather sucked. Turns out that we hit their random hot day and it was over 80 degrees and I’m miserable in my jeans. When I looked it up, it was supposed to only be 70s, but whatever.
The only thing worth it was the Farmer’s Market connected in the mall. It has fresh fruits and veggies. Import British chocolate and gourmet ingredients and goods. And great places for lunch: A small Korean stall, a seafood place, a butcher shop, deli’s, etc. I get myself a big wrap, go back to the boat, and scarf that motherfucker down to some Hurt Locker on TV.
I stop by the gym, but it’s pretty crowded so I just go for a quick run. After dinner, I stay in the room to get some studying done. Then onto the gym right before it closes. It’s the best time because it’s empty now. They don’t have a bench press, but free weight press still does the job. Mad chest workout and leg lifts for abs.
After that, I go down to the poker table and decide it’s been too long and I should see how it’s going. In about 5 hands, this one horrible player picks up an easy $2-300 to double his already large stack. It’s a $1/2 no limit table. Chip average is around $150-200 with weird small stacks (showing that people don’t know how to buy in). He flops nothing and keeps betting into a guy until he hits runner runner to get a straight off of his AK. Another hand, he flops the nuts (straight). Another hand, he calls with nada and his gut shot on the river.
I feel like I have a decent idea of how the table is going and buy in for $150. The first hand I sit down, I pick up JJ. Raise, two callers. Flop is blanks. Raise. One caller (probably the best player at the table). K comes, raise again. He folds. He says that I probably had a bigger pair than him. I doubt he had a pocket pair, but it does sound like he’s giving me respect.
Immediate next hand, I pick up TT. Raise. Multiple callers. Flop comes AKQ. I call a raise, it’s heads up. Turn is a blank, another raise. I fold.
I hover around $120 then pick up a decent pot to set me back to $150. I drop a bit after a couple hands. I pick up AQ early position. Raise, one rereasier to $16. I call. Flop is Q66. Pot is $35. I raise $25 (with $65 behind). He moves me all in (This guy was a real man, sat down at the table with a shot in hand. He hit the nuts (flopping a full house) after buying in for $50 and tripled his stack to a regular size stack compared to the table.) I shrug and without much thinking, I snap call. I don’t have much left and the pot is a larger than my stack.
I’m hoping he’s stupid and reraising with KQ. He could be overplaying JJ or TT. If he has QQ(!), KK, or AA, then c’est la vie. I call, he has KK. I can’t really do anything. I’m way invested into the pot and what better am I going to hope to hit with AQ. Meh, the loss ain’t fun, but more about the actual losing than the money. I came on the boat with cash, expecting it to be lost. Win some then good, lose some, then hope it wasn’t from playing poorly. It is what it is. I probably played around 20 hands. Sucks that I couldn’t have played more and ran into a bad situation. At least I see there are some chumps at the table, another day maybe.

August 31, 2010
First of all. Rant: Fuck Amelia Earhart. I walk into the room and my mom is watching a movie with Earhart being played by Hilary Swank. They actually do a pretty good job getting her to look like an ugly Earhart. I start ranting at my mom about what a bitch this girl is.
Here’s a situation: Some rich girl grows up rich and flies planes. She flies into the middle of nowehere, gets lost, and dies. Big fucking whoup. Fine, she has a cunt and does things for women, but most specifically for female aviation. You look in a history book and tell me how important female aviation is to the history of America. It’s probably less important than how fat and long Martin Luther King Jr.’s penis was. Or if fucking Susan B. Anthony was like throwing a hot dog done a supermarket aisle. By the way, do you know what the funniest joke of all time is? Women’s rights.
Today is Halifax. I wake up, off to breakfast. Oatmeal, a dash of sugar free syrup, half a banana, and a scoop of nuts. Then a few slices of plain turkey. Then two hardboiled egg whites. All with some ice coffee, 2% milk, Splenda, and a scoop of whey.
Off the boat, Halifax is actually a city. They have a busy downtown loaded with shops and stuff. Their port has lots of touristy stuff, buses, and ferries. I get to try Beavertail, which is a really unappealing name for a thin strip of fried dough. I got it topped with nutella and another one with apples and cinnamon. Fucking good shit. NYC needs to get these. Led Zeppole needs to learn to make their fried dough in this shape. Another thing I notice, loads of redheads in Nova Scotia. Yep, I should move here.
I pass by one of the gift shops and realize that I almost forgot that I need to send Ela a postcard. I find a postcard with three old men smiling (dunno why), write it up, stamp it up, send it out.
Back onto the boat, I haven’t eaten for a while, time for the buffet. I get fresh deli sliced turkey, which is silly since it’s really good meat, yet the deli is open for only a few hours during the day. The same goes for the Mongolian BBQ, which I have yet to try. It’s supposed to be good and the line is always ridiculous because it’s again, only open for a few hours. Then, I also have some mahi mahi. They’re actually awesome with their fish. It’s set out in a big platter with pico de gallo and shrimp. No one eats it because they would rather have some messy pasta and greasy chicken drumsticks. The fish is broiled and the bottom is clean with little to no grease. Done deal. I’m all about it. It all tastes clean, cooked with little fat. Perfect for my proteining.
Another thing about the food, I don’t remember the whole conversation, but I overheard some people on the boat, “Or they come on the cruise to eat.” And boy does that really define the cruise. All these fat people do is eat and eat. Shit, all I can see is fat people, all day, errday.
Right after I write that and go to dinner, boom, more material for me. I decide to avoid dinner with mom and grandma because it’s sit down, slow, and the food isn’t even that great. Off to the buffet where “regular” people eat, I’m on the buffet line next to a really fat lady. Then again, those are just “fat ladies” on the boat. The standard is quite different here. Everyone’s overweight.
She starts off with the salad. She scrounges in the for the little last morsels in the crouton container. None left. That’s the best way to start a salad, loads of croutons… Then she builds her salad, which is fine. Salad is salad, it’s healthy. Then time for the dressing. I can just imagine her thinking to herself, “Hm… Ranch, that’s too creamy. Ohh! Italian, that’s great (even though it’s white and creamy just like the ranch for some reason.).” She proceeds to pour on more dressing than Peter North’s load. I know, a vivid metaphor. It literally the entire salad, all white, you can’t even see the remnants of what once was a salad. Then some ham. Well… As in about 8 slices on top of the salad.
Onto the food, fish and chips. A large piece of deep fried fish and fries. Then three servings worth of mashed potatoes. Cover that with gravy. That’s a dinner. I hope that’s enough for one 5’4, 240 lbs. woman.
Then came the sad part. This boy, maybe 10 years old asks his dad, “What’s this?” His dad reads the sign for the curry, vegetable rice dish. Looked pretty healthy. Sons asks, “Is that good?” Dad replies, “Haha, well you know what I like…” He then proceeds to be excited for the pork loin and all the gravy he can put on it.
I start feeling really bad when his family sits down. The dad is fat as shit. The son is as well. So is the younger sister. Then the wife, which is just fat enough that I really could not tell if she was just fat or pregnant. I hate staring, but seriously, I couldn’t tell.
If adult’s want to be fat and piggy, go ahead. But to lead your kids into a horrible lifestyle and plague them with a future of health problems, but Fuck You. No really, Fuck You. You’re a shitty ignorant adult and shame on you.
Right before dinner is gym, which is awesome awesome at night. No people, I get to do biceps and shoulders without people taking from the one set of free weights, etc.
After that, I poker for a bit. So far, people are buying in cheap and the players are horrible. I blind out for a bit after a smaller $90 buy in. I get back over $100 after a decent hand. Then it’s just grinding and grinding from there. I can’t raise preflop much because they auto-call. I miss a couple flops and stay card dead until $50. Then I double up after hitting top set with my 99. Then it’s more downhill. Card dead, fold, miss flop, fold, fold, raise, see flop, fold, fold. The play is still real abysmal, but you can’t outplay. You just have to hit the cards, play well, and squeeze every cent out of these tourist suckers. The “usual” players start coming in who are a bit more competent. I decide to cut my losses at $50ish since my stack is way too small and you’re basically giving away your money if you’re playing short stacked.
I’m watching TV and saw a commercial that Ela would enjoy. Some kid said he’s studying abroad in Germany and soaking it in, but having problems with their humor. The TV shows that they’re laughing at a guy putting his tongue into a fan. I know that show and I want to start watching the Canadian version. It’s basically two guys that compete doing bullshit things. In one that Ela showed me, there are two guys on their knees trying to see which one could suck a long piece of ice faster and get it down to nothing. It’s not ice sucking really… When they’re on their knees, it just makes it silly.
By the way, cruises are awesome for their duty free shops. If I smoked like a chimney, I’d be in heaven. Two cartons (that’s 10 packs in each) for $50. Then again, I did buy liquor. Not sure if I’m keeping much for myself though. Done deal. I maybe should buy more come to think of it. It’s so fucking cheap. The shitty stuff that I buy is almost the same price as this. Hm, maybe I’ll buy more tomorrow.

September 1, 2010
I wake up and breakfast time. More poor decision making when these people eat. I’m waiting on the omelette line. “Hey, I need two omelettes, one for me and one for my wife. She wants an egg white… With ham and cheese. Extra ham and cheese!” Sure sure…
Mine, egg white, extra everything veg. Then two hardboiled egg whites with pepper and a lick of ketchup. Two thin slices of turkey. Ice coffee with 2% and Splenda. A little bit of oatmeal with banana and loads of nuts. Love nuts.
Then onto the poker tournament, $150 with prize money and an invite to a large tourney in Miami (though the ticket is transferable). The play starts out slow again. Card dead. I get AK twice, but with multiple callers and completely whiffing on my flops. The action runs round and round with the usual poor “calling station” play. Also the usual poor basics like overbetting larger than the size of the pot, folding when you have the option to check, etc.
The game goes by really fast with the blinds going up every 12 minutes or so. I get pretty low until I hit a few hands and move back up to 5000 chips. Then blinds are killing and I finally take a stand with against a smaller stand with AQ. He moves in on me on the flop with three small blanks. I’m 3-1 if he has a pair and the raise is about 2-1. The blinds are way to high, lets go. He has KQ. Sweet, I double up to the second largest stack at the table. This is when I make my move and raise preflop in position with anything. I win pot after pot. However, the blinds are way too big, any hand I get involved in, it sets me back from the pots that I won. A small stack moves in from early position, it’s 5 handed, I’m BB with 22. I call, it’s a race against KJ. I’m good all the way until he rivers a K. If I win that pot, I take the chip lead and start stealing pots like a bandit. The players aren’t aware that the blinds are 300/600 with the average stack at about 8000. The blinds are way too high for this many players and you have to move fast.
However, I lose the pot and get back down to ground zero. 500/1000 blinds are coming up and I have 5000. A small stack my size moves in, I call with QJ. I hope he has a pair, he has KJ. He said he thought I had a big one. At least I made a good image for myself. Played tight against the large number, stole pots when I had chips and blinds were higher, but in the end, I needed to with that race with my 22. Meh, I tried. The only thing I can think of is re-raising flop raisers because they overbet with the goal to just steal. However, I’m not sure about that. They’re calling and very loose and I can’t imagine really knocking them off their hands easily. Down for the trip, but I think I played decent and I had some fun.
For lunch, I go during prime time and it’s a shit show. Fat people everywhere, lines are long as shit, I cut the line to grab at parts of a salad, order just sliced turkey from the deli, and run off with a light salad. At 2:00ish, our hero returns for some real shit. Stupid stupid again, the best food of the ship is open only for lunch and it’s all 4 hours of bonkers lines. The whole trip, never got any Mongolian BBQ. However, I did get to try the Fish and Chip place this time. Omg, Hero is easting fried fish?! Nope, I ordered ceviche, octopus salad, and ahi tuna over watermelon. Not great excecution, but it’s decent ingredients for what you’re getting on the boat. Again, this place is only open for lunch. A shame that I only get this on the final day.
I bet back to the room and study for a while. I bitch at some kids that are loud outside the room. I’m such an adult, woohoo! Gran Turino style. PBR, buck shot, the works.
For dinner, they need to clean the room so I join my mom at the “Platinum” Room for a sit down dinner. I order a vegetarian Indian dish, which turns out to be one of the best things I’ve eaten on the boat. Makes sense since they pride themselves on having a multicultural staff. I’m betting that someone Indian in the staff helped make it. Tasted pretty authentic. After the gym, I get some dinner. I walk by the steak frites and man do I want some fucking fries. I ever tell you how much I love fries. Love fries. However, I was just at the gym and can’t be eating fries. However, I do walk by the “diet” apple pie, like there is such a thing. I also love me some apple pie and haven’t had any in forever. I grab a small slice and have half of it. Could’ve used a microwave, but boy did I enjoy some pie.